How could she be like that? Why is she ignoring me?
Calm down, man…
Don’t get frustrated especially when it relates to communicating with a loved one via electronic means.
Because technology fails sometimes and we tend to get upset unnecessarily.
Here’s a recent scenario:
Ana sent me a text message with some kind, inspiring words.
I was happy and I replied back with what I thought were kind words.
A few minutes past, no reply. Oh well, I thought. I was happy, so I let it go.
Now normally this would cause a bit of frustration especially if I were expecting a reply back. I would be like: why isn’t she responding to me?
I could even get to the point, if it’s important enough (and maybe this is where we fail), that I would actually pick up the phone and call. (Hey, if it’s important, maybe we should do that first.)
But the way most calls would go after failing to receive an expected message is this:
person 1 [in an upset tone]: why didn’t you answer?
person 2 [in an already defensive tone because of the initial tone of person 1]: answer what?
person 1 [raising voice more]: the message I sent you!
person 2 [raising voice even more]: I didn’t get a message!
and it continues until someone hangs up.
How can we improve this?
If it’s important, then speak with the person face to face!
If that’s not practical but still important, then call.
If it’s not that important, then send the message and if you are expecting a reply and you don’t get one in a couple of minutes (or more depending…), send a follow up message, then call. When you do call, definitely don’t go on the offensive. Just plainly ask in a regular tone: Hey, did you get my message?
And then things will play out more nicely…